Why You Should Set Intentions vs. Goals and How to Do It

With the start of 2020 and a new decade, this has been a particularly exciting time to look back, reflect, and plan. While in the past I would set SMART goals for all the main areas of my life – health, career, relationships, home, etc., this year I’m trying something new – value-based intentions. If you’re anything like me and have struggled to keep your “new year’s resolutions,” consider this approach.

One of my favourite bloggers and podcasters – Jess Lively – teaches about how to live life with purpose. In 2019, I completed one of her online courses, and learned how to bring more intention into my every day.

As defined by Jess, “intentions are statements of our deepest values in particular areas of our lives.” When it comes to planning, she suggests making one for possessions, personal habits, relationships, and career.

Once we’ve uncovered our values and set our intentions, we’re empowered to embody them in the present moment. They are much broader than a SMART goal (not as specific) – therefore many small actions can be in alignment with our intention. If we aren’t “perfect,” e.g. we didn’t work out 5 times this week, only 3, we’ve still taken action in alignment with our values. I’ve found there is less shaming, and more gratitude for what I’ve been able to accomplish when using the value-based intention approach.

Intentions are not:

Goals. Goals are something we can use to measure our efforts when implementing actions based on our Values, but they are not in and of themselves our true motivation.

Future oriented. Intentions must be embodied in the present moment. Peace, joy, and fulfillment happen in the now, not when we are waiting for a specific achievement or outcome to happen first.

Metric focused. Intentions don’t measure the pounds we want to lose or revenue we want to make. At any point in our journey, embodying our deepest Values is innately fulfilling.

Expectation focused. Intentions aren’t tied to any particular outcomes other than peace, joy, fulfillment, and love.

If this resonates with you, here’s how I set mine.

Step 1) Identify your values and what’s important to you.

I reflected on my personal values and what was important to me. Here’s a great list to review, if you want to try this yourself. I wrote them down. I figured out what felt right to me.

Step 2) Write your values in sentences to support the areas your want to work on.

Health and wellness are areas I want to focus on in 2020, as well as strengthening relationships, creating a cozy home, and continuing to simplify my wardrobe.

After reflecting on my values, here’s what I came up with for my intentions.

Health and wellness:

“To move and live with flow and grace.”

Relationships:

“To engage in thoughtful and meaningful friendships.”

“To build a partnership based on reciprocity, understanding, affection, and adventure.

Home/Possessions:

“To create a home that’s inspiring, cozy, and warm.”

“To cultivate a beautiful and minimal wardrobe, filled with pieces that are unique.”

Step 3) For each value-based intention, list a few inspiring actions.

Write down your intention, and list a few actions you could take that would support that value. This is very fulfilling and can be quite simple. 🙂  Write down what outcomes you want from these actions, any resistance you might face in taking these actions, and how to overcome the resistance.

Here are a two examples.

Intention 1: “To engage in thoughtful and meaningful friendships.”

Actions:

• Connect with my friends more regularly by setting up phone dates to catch up.
• Join a class (I chose ballet) to meet new people in my community.

Outcomes I’m hoping to achieve:

• Feeling of closeness with those I love.
• New friendships that uplift and inspire me.
• A stronger connection to my local community.

Possible resistance:

• Lack of time.
• Fear – need to put yourself out there.

How to overcome resistance:

• Start slowly – tie phone dates with friends to activities I’m already doing. It’s okay to talk on the phone while walking the dog or doing chores.
• Fear – fear is always holding me back. Make a commitment and just do it.

Intention 2: “To cultivate a beautiful and minimal wardrobe, filled with pieces that are unique.”

Actions:

• Re- do the style coaching exercises I’ve previously completed. Continue to hone in on what I LOVE.
• Try on every piece of clothing I own -> consign/donate pieces that are no longer serving me, get existing pieces tailored to fit me better to limit need for new purchases.
• Write list of pieces I could use to fill gaps in my wardrobe.
• Shop slowly – don’t rush – wait and save for what I actually want – don’t just make do.
• Build out a new capsule every 2-3 months to make sure I what what’s in my closet.
• Use eco-friendly retailer list to fill wardrobe gaps, and shop vintage for unique finds.

Outcomes I’m hoping to achieve:

• Know what’s in my closet, and mix and match pieces with ease.
• Feel good about all I own and know I’ve shopped in accordance to my values – more eco-friendly, avoid fast fashion.
• Own less, but be able to do more with what I have.
• Be confident in myself and my style choices.

Possible resistance:

• Time
• Budget
• Confidence

How to overcome resistance:

• Book 3-4 hours in my calendar to go through wardrobe.
• Keep momentum, make appointment with tailor as soon as I’ve finished going through wardrobe.
• Book another 2 hours in calendar to build out my capsule every few months to create capsule.
• Use shoptagr to save pieces I’m interested in and wait until they are on sale – don’t settle. Focus on building an amazing wardrobe for the long-run.
• Continue to have fun with style – keep wearing what I love – know confidence will come the more I do this..

I worked through this process with all of my intentions, and continue to take actions that set me up for success. These intentions are built on my values, so they are intrinsically motivating to me. While this is a different way to plan your year and your life, I hope you find it useful. You can set an intention for any area you’d like to work on. Taking one or two actions each day in line with your values will add up, creating an amazing and inspiring year.

If you do decide to give this approach a try, I’d love to hear how it goes for you lovely. Wishing you all the best in 2020.